A few years ago, I was nominated into a leadership training program. Lot of pre-work as usual, where the course organizers fondly believe the participants love to complete. One though, was interesting – it asked a set of deeply introspective questions that one had to respond to. One was ‘If you were given a chance to go back and change your past, what will you change in your life?’
Me being me, deeply curious forever on what goes on in people’s minds, and what drives each one to be what they are, I couldn’t wait for the session when the response was going to be shared. All participants were senior leaders, mid 30s to mid 40s, who had achieved success in their professional life, doing well for themselves, and clearly nominated as a Hi Potential leader by their organization. Successful people, what will they regret enough to want to change?
‘I would spend time with my dad’ said one. ‘I was busy with my career, and missed festivals and holidays, never went home for them. My dad passed away in a sudden bout of illness, just after Diwali ten years ago. The last I spoke was to wish him on Diwali day…….’
‘I would take time out to travel, take a break year’ said another. ‘I moved from my engineering on to my MBA, back to back, started working, and have never found the time to follow my passion, travel the world’ ‘I hope I can do it when I retire’
‘I would take the time to pursue my passion in theatre. I was a member in an amateur theatre group, but work was so hectic, I had to drop out’
I looked for lessons from these and more that were in a similar vein. The obvious one is a no brainer. Find balance in life! Ensure work/life balance; and it is a much touted philosophy. I don’t agree. I think the difference was just one factor, and that was choosing right at every point in life.
Mindful choices, value based prioritisation; like the time my mom-in-law was in ICU, I had to choose between being there for her, and sitting with my 14 year old preparing for his boards. I am glad I chose the former, we lost her soon, but I have no regrets.
Another good idea, is to compartmentalise your life. And whichever compartment you are in, be there 100% I don’t entertain personal calls at work unless it is a dire emergency, I don’t do shopping breaks or long lunches as a policy; I also don’t pick up my laptop on a holiday, I cook and clean, tend to my little garden, listen to music and go for long walks instead.
Value and prioritise relationships you hold dear, over almost all else. If a dear one needs you, make time; a friend going through a crisis at work; a cousin going through a fight with his wife; a depressed colleague; be there when they need you, not when you can make time.
Make time for play along with work. Find your passion, and make time for it. I know too many retired folks who don’t know what to do with their time – who feel stripped of ‘usefulness’ in life. Sounds familiar? Don’t become that person. Invest in your personal passion now, when you are still busy – all work and no play DOES make Jack dull!
Do you agree? Is it too idealistic? Is it possible for busy, successful and career oriented professionals to make such choices?
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