When Ashwin was a little baby, we spent many an evening at the paediatrician’s clinic, since he was a child who fell sick very often – so often, that the paediatrician eventually because a very good friend.
I remember one such evening, where we had entered his room, and were waiting for him to see us. The child before us was about 11 months old, and was sporting ugly and painful looking rashes around his waist. He couldn’t bear to be touched there and when the doctor examined him, he screamed in pain the poor kid. The doctor checked him, took a big pair of scissors, and cut off the black thread with many charms and amulets threaded through it, that was put around his waist, before the mom could react.
She was aghast and protested loudly. ‘Doctor!’ She said, ‘that is a sacred thread, specially placed at lord XX feet, and those charms are all from different temples. It is to ward off the evil eye, and now my child is without protection! We cannot remove the black thread”
The doctor, in his own calm and easy manner, sat the mom down and explained the genesis of the black thread. Long ago, when people didn’t have the concept of paediatricians and monthly check up with the doctor to evaluate the milestones and growth of the child, this thread was a great indicator of what was happening with the child. If it became tight, the child was putting on weight; if it got loose, he was losing weight; if it stayed the same, then…
Also, there was a need for this thread to hold up the child’s rudimentary undergarment which was just a piece of cloth.
Now, he asked the mother, you use disposable diapers and you visit me every month. Where is the need for this thread? And he made a statement that stays with me till date.
‘Question every practice maam,’ he said; ‘retain the ones that remain relevant, and throw out the ones that no longer serve you; and use your own judgement, don’t go by what you are led to believe!’
What a profound message. So often, in our work places, sometimes even in families, we all encounter practices, ingrained so deeply that everyone accepts it as ‘this is the way we do things’. New comers want to question it but are either afraid to, or are shushed and told to just follow the rules and conform. Practices that no longer have any meaning or any value are continued. If only, like the doctor suggested, we have a way to question every practice, and to be open to the new daughter in law, or the rookie who has joined our firm, to question our practices, I guess we will only retain the meaningful ones, and will constantly be renewing and refreshing the environment of our home or our office.
So go on, spot the black threads you are clutching in your hands, and let go of the ones that no longer have meaning.
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